What is a Gentleman?

I am the keen owner of books on gentlemen's etiquette and table manners. As a child I grew up being taught manners and how to be a decent gentleman. Opening doors for other people and allowing ladies to go first. I know when it is appropriate to put my elbows on the table. Trouble is I find is that different etiquette experts have different ideas about what is and what isn't appropriate.

So... what am I to do? Is is okay to wear badger-head cuff links? Or should I religiously stick to plain silver ovals? A light tie with a dark shirt? I should be skinned alive! I'm beginning to think that there is no room for certain 20th Century Gentleman's etiquette. The world has changed, especially with the advent of the internet. Many people buy items online and have a much vaster choice. As a liberal individual I fell a modern gentleman should take advantage of that. Why shouldn't he wear exactly what he feels comfortable in. In my view, a modern gentleman should be clean, well dressed and polite.

If how to dress wasn't rigid enough, how to approach an individual your attracted to is a major problem. As a gay man I have to approach relationships very differently to how my etiquette books suggest I do. I can't treat men like women. That would be an insult to their gender. Is it not time for the Gentlemen of today to consider the possibility of a 'non-woman relationship'?

As a big fan of the 20s and 30s I do take a lot of my influence from that era. But I am a 21st Century man and I feel entitled to be a 21st Century Gentleman. Perhaps I should revise the Gentleman of yesterday to be compatible with tomorrow. Don't get me wrong, I still consider myself a Gentleman but I feel there is need for change.