My extraordinary journey home from work

I finished work last night at 12:30am. I was cold, tired, didn't have a fabulous evening and was suffering from an injured thumb (which is currently causing me an awkard time typing). I just wanted to get some pain killers from the 24 hour garage and get to bed.

Except this was not to be. Now as a former student myself and a friend to many I am usually pro-student. But not last night. Not when a certain drunk civil-engineering scholar attracts my attention as I walk home. At first I thought he wanted a light or perhaps even directions. But no. He wanted to walk with me. I politely declined his request but he insisted. I explained how I preferred to walk alone but he insisted.

I was surprised how quickly my politeness expired. I began to get annoyed, my sentences now blunt and to the point. Soon I was making gestures and raising my voice. I shouted a profanity at him and walked away. But, like an idiot puppy, he failed to comprehend the distress he was causing and started to follow me. He began to quiz me and started to reveal information about himself. It became apparent that my moronic tormentor was studying civil-engineering at the University of Plymouth where I myself once studied.

Mike was his name. I exclaimed in an alarming amount of fury that I couldn't have cared less if he was Jesus. I really didn't want anyone walking with me. Before I knew it, true condensed anger was being displayed. I never realised I could blow my lid like that. His incessant chatter and irritating presence resulted in a Vesuvian explosion of expletives and hand gestures. Exasperated pleas for him to leave me alone. I impressed myself that I could scream near poetic insults from the top of my head and I swear he suppressed a snigger when I referred to myself as 'irate'.

I told him I had a bad day. He said it could not have been as bad as his. Unfortunately for him my heart towards him was colder than the night itself and I would have continued to shout at him regardless of what he said. To me he had lost all credibility by simply not leaving me alone. I don't know why he couldn't annoy some other poor sap. Eventually I shoved my headphones into my ears and drowned him out with Big Band Jazz. It had a remarkable calming effect, almost presenting a comic edge to my situation. He continued to talk at me stopping every now and again to put his shoe back on. We reached the end of the road and I heard him promise he'd leave me alone as long as I shook his hand. I yanked the right headphone out of my ear and jutted my hand out.

"Thank you," he said, "you have no idea how much that means to me." I bid him good night with next to no emotion. I was simply glad to be rid of him. I don't know what it is he needed. Probably just company. I'm normally good at that sort of thing but he caught me on the wrong night. Any other night I could have made a new friend.